Friday, August 26, 2016

The Battle...

August 26, 2016

Do you ever feel like everything you do is a battle, a struggle? From getting out of bed, to deciding what to eat or wear, to figuring out what you will accomplish today!
 Some days I wake up with a tonne of energy, ready to take on the day and other days I have no idea where any energy is going to come from because I don't seem to have any. Today is one of those days...I woke up early-because I'm sure a spider was about to drop from the ceiling onto my face, I could feel the slight wisp on my face like a few hairs in the breeze, so I checked my hair and it was no where near my face and we had the ceiling fan on but it wasn't on my face. So, I brushed whatever it was (I'm sure it was a spider) away and hid under my covers. Well, that didn't last long as it was so hot and I could barely breath. So I moved from our bed to the sofa, surely there wouldn't be a spider trying to drop on me there.
 I fell back to sleep and woke to being surrounded by two kids and a dog. They had me buried on the sofa, I could not budge and they weren't planning on moving anytime soon. I decided to just stay there since they weren't "mom...", "mom..." "mom"ing me to no end. They had even got their own breakfast before burying me there, so hey, I wasn't going to mess with a good thing since I had no energy to spare this morning.
 It was around 10 am before enough energy came for me to get up off that sofa and do a few things like eat and get dressed. I hate feeling this way, I feel like I'm wasting a good day but I also realise sometimes I just need to rest and tomorrow will be better. So today will be a day I don't get much, if anything done. I'm in the middle of house organisation and renovations, so the house is a disaster, except for the areas that are finished. So, I go look into the cupboards in my kitchen to see how great they look and how they are still just as neat looking as several weeks ago when I finished them. I feel that I am getting somewhere even though everywhere else is chaos.
  The next area is started but a ways from being finished but I still feel accomplished going into that room because I know it is in the works.
 I feel this is often like our spiritual life. Some days we don't have the energy to keep going, we want to give up. That is when we need to remember what we have accomplished, and how far we have come and that there are things we are still working on, that nothing changes quickly-well most things don't. and that progress is best measured over time. I look back at the challenges I have come through and where I am today compared to just five years ago and I amazed. Five years ago I was inactive at my church and was feeling about as low as anyone could feel. Today I am back at church and feeling more alive in the gospel than I have ever felt before. My testimony is stronger than it ever was and is growing all the time. I am spending real meaningful time in my scriptures and in prayer daily. I am pondering many things. I used to think "I'm not going to pray about that because I'm not ready to change", now I'm praying about "what do I need to work on next?" I can tell you this has been such a great change in my life. To actually pick something that is a challenge for me and to study, search the scriptures and conference talk and other literature on the topic and ponder it and finally get an answer after much trial of my faith, is such a testimony builder that I highly recommend it to everyone. Mind you the answers don't come easy, they don't come simply from a desire to know, I know it only come from a deep real desire to change and improve. I also know we must be prepared to be accountable for the increase in knowledge. I am ever grateful for learning this.
Praying that you to will seek to increase your knowledge and to change your life for the better. Praying that tomorrow will be a day of more energy to continue to get my house and my life in order.